


The Wrong We Have Done

by Socket



Category: Battlestar Galactica (2003)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Romance, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-24
Updated: 2016-05-24
Packaged: 2018-06-10 08:02:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6946738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Socket/pseuds/Socket
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Roslin and Lee are in hiding amongst the fleet, trying to rally support - but today was a turning point. Today they had their first argument.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> **Timeline:** The Farm  
>  _A/N: This fic was inspired by the two deleted Laura/Lee scenes from "The Farm"._

Everything Apollo feels for her is like a cliché; he'd fight to the death, travel to the ends of the earth, all he has is hers - and yet it doesn't seem enough, doesn't seem sufficient to express all that Laura means to him. He's never felt this completely for another person before.

Even so, today was a turning point. Today they'd had their first argument.

It felt strange, to raise his voice to her - their understanding is usually implicit but the urge to shake her, to rebel, to hurt her was all too real.

So when she'd said. "Perhaps in the future, you will more carefully think through the consequences before committing yourself," he had stormed off.

He begun a search of the _Kimba Huta_ in vain; he knew the perimeters of their hiding place held no lurking double agent hell-bent on bringing Roslin in, but he needed to feel of use and he needed some head space from her - needed clarity. But as he scouted their temporary habitat, as he deliberated, all thoughts returned to her. He felt the familiar ache to be in her presence again, he wanted to feel the elation that overpowers him whenever Laura is near.

He returned to the cold storage room. Roslin was alone, sitting on a metal worktop.

Laura looked up as Apollo entered and didn't smile. He felt stung; she always smiled at him. He walked towards her and she returned her concentration to the wall. He sat beside her and tilted his head sideways, intently watching her.

Laura stared straight ahead. "Why are you so angry with me?" she asked and then turned her steadfast gaze on him.

"I don't know... I just..." He stood up. "I was so relieved that my father was okay and I wanted to be with him, but I can't because of this situation and I so hit out at you… that's why."

"What's the real reason?" Laura pressed.

"Because you didn't fight for me!" he yelled.

Her face fell. "What?" she said breathlessly.

"On _Colonial One_ , you backed down - if you'd stayed strong, we could have won and we wouldn't be in this predicament now."

"You would have been shot!" she exclaimed.

Lee shook his head. "It was worth the risk - we had a chance. Now we're in hiding, trying to gain support for a democratic opposition to my father - the entire military force of _Galactica_ is looking for us and it didn't have to be like this Madame President!"

"It did have to be this way or you would have been killed. I backed down to save us all from behaving like barbarians and shooting it out. So don't put this guilt crap on me! I did this for you!" she exclaimed. "You think I like holing-up in a cold storage room and having to trust Zarek? Having to leave Billy behind?" She holds his gaze. "This outcome is the result of my actions, Lee – but it's also the result of your actions - you put a gun to Tigh's head, you took my side and so, you helped put us in this predicament."

"Because I was defending you, the office of the Presidency and democracy!" he stated passionately.

She glared at him. "Who asked you to?"

"I did it because it was the right thing to do," he snapped.

"And I backed down on _Colonial One_ because it was the right thing to do," Laura retorted. "Just remember that, Captain – this is what we both chose."

The viper pilot's eyes softened, he took a breath and then knelt before her, grasping her hands. "I'm worried... you've already backed down at the threat of bloodshed - you might do it again... and I have nothing to give you this time – my friends and connections, my position as CAG – it's all gone, I have nothing left to offer you."

Laura smiled that special smile she reserved for him alone. She reached out and cupped his face. "You were right, Lee - this isn't your fight. I will stand strong, I will do what I must for the people. I don't need anything from you but support. So, are you still with me?"

"Was that ever any doubt?" he whispered and leaned forward, capturing her lips with his.

Lee pulled her to him. Roslin's hands slid to his shoulders and she let the warmth of his body press into her, relished the feel of being in his arms. His hands wrapped around her waist and slipped up her back, tangling in her hair. Their tongues explored, travelled, and the intensity became too much…

They drew apart.

"I guess this is the part where you tell me that we shouldn't be doing this," he said softly.

Laura's eyes shone. "Yes, this would be that part."

He smiled and gently pulled away from her, standing up.

Roslin leaned back to watch him. "If only we'd meet at a different time, in different circumstances," she said wistfully.

Before he could respond, Elosha entered the cold storage room; she had gone in search of a quite corner in which to pray for strength and guidance. She'd found one in between the shelves of sweet corn and Spam.

The Priest shivered. "It's frakking freezing in here! Colder than a Hadjee's nippets! Thank the gods we only have to endure it one more night."

Roslin grinned; she was still unaccustomed to the Priest's colourful language. "I'm sure sleeping arrangements on Kobol will be more… appropriate," Laura said confidently.

"Yeah, right." Elosha said disbelievingly.

Laura stood, realising that her joints had all but frozen over. She stretched her body and started to move about the room.

Elosha strolled over to the camping mats Zarek had supplied them with – the mats lay side-by-side, because in this temperature, they had to sleep as closely together as possible to reserve body heat

Crawling under the covers, Elosha called out to her companions. "Good night, may the Gods watch over you in your sleep."

"Night," Roslin and Lee chorused in reply.

The Captain and President were both exhausted and desperately wanted sleep, but the expectation of tomorrow's events played on both their minds.

Laura was scared – what if Starbuck didn't make it back? What if they couldn't find Athena's tomb? What if they found the tomb and the arrow didn't work? What if she wasn't the leader the prophecies spoke of? Roslin felt her temples begin to throb. She rubbed her hands together and did a little dance step to keep frostbite at bay. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Lee smirking.

She turned to face him. "What?" she asked.

Apollo hugged his arms about himself to keep the cold out. "You," he replied, "doing a little jig."

"It's better than getting hypothermia!" Laura answered.

Lee stepped closer to her. "Let me warm you," he said and went to take her hands, but she pulled away abruptly.

Lee gazed at her, confused, and her breath caught. Sometimes his beauty startles her; sometimes it's his kindness that causes a tremor in her heart and that potent, fluttery feeling in the core of her stomach. Right now it was both those things and her chest tightened with a longing she thought she'd outgrown.

Lee realised the cause of her reaction but this was not the time or place to discuss it. "It's a long day tomorrow, we should get some rest," he suggested.

Laura grinned; her Captain Apollo - ever the pragmatist. She nodded. "Yes."

They walked over to the camping mats and he pulled the covers back. Laura got in first, she sided up closely to the Priest and then Lee slipped in beside her. It took a moment of shifting and adjusting to each other's bodies, but the three companions soon settled down.

Elosha quickly fell back into sleep, her arm wrapped protectively around Roslin's waist. Laura's head rested against Apollo's shoulder, her arms circled his chest and she closed her eyes, having never felt so safe in her life.


	2. Chapter 2

Laura closed her eyes and held her face up to the sun drenched sky. It's a glorious feeling – actual sunlight caressing her skin. She inhales the fresh air, relishes the sound of nature and the absence of a constant low hum of a ships engine.

She smiles blissfully, then opens her eyes and takes in her surroundings, suddenly struck by a wave of nostalgia as it hits her that she'll never see home again. She forced her mind from these thoughts – it was no good pining for what she couldn't have. She had to concentrate on the task at hand – locating Athena's tomb.

As the motley troop decided which direction to head in, there was a noise in the shrubbery nearby. Instantly, Apollo was next to Laura, gun drawn, he put his arm around her waist and pulled her behind him. Laura leaned against him as he aimed his gun at the unseen prowler.

A small animal emerged from the bush, saw them, took fright and scuttled off into the undergrowth. Roslin felt Lee's body relax. He lowered his firearm and turned to face her, he touched Roslin's forearm, she nodded that she was fine and he smiled. Then, realising that they were being watched by the others, he took a step back from her.

"Geez, Lee – take a pill!" Kara teased.

He glanced at her sideways. "It could've been a cylon centurion," he snapped.

Disregarding the brief distraction, Elosha moved towards Laura. "Lets get started shall we?"

**************** 

Starbuck and Apollo were on point, scouting ahead of the others. Lee kept checking over his shoulder, making sure that Laura was never far from him.

Noticing his near obsession with Roslin's whereabouts, Thrace asked. "What's with you and the President?"

Lee retuned his gaze to the trail in front of them. "What do you mean?"

"The two of you have this whole clique thing going on where you're the only members," she said, trying to keep her tone light, trying to suppress her envy.

Lee slowed his pace, he didn't look at Starbuck as he answered. "We've been through a lot together."

Kara's eyes narrowed in annoyance. "We all have, Lee. End of the world – ring any bells?"

Lee shook his head; he didn't know how to explain it, he barely understood it himself. It was just something he felt. "It's different between us… we survived the initial attacks together, we stood against my father together, were imprisoned together, escaped and went into hiding together - "

Thrace held up her hands and declared. "Alright - I get it! There was a lot of 'togetherness'!"

Apollo grinned.

Thrace scowled. "What?"

"I love her, Kara," he stated simply.

Thrace stopped dead. "What?"

Lee held the blondes gaze. "I love her."

Kara stared at him in disbelief, then burst into laughter. "Yeah – good one, Lee! I'll tell ya – you had me going there for a minute!"

"I'm not joking. The way she makes me feel… I've never been so sure of anything in my life."

"This is all messed-up!" Starbuck exclaimed ardently. "There's so many reason why this is a bad idea, lets list them shall we? She's dying, she thinks she's a prophet, she's twice your age, she's the President and you're just the CAG, she's - "

"None of that matters when I'm with her," he interrupted.

And he seemed so secure, so certain that it disarmed Thrace. She continued to walk. "Well then, if that's how you feel… you're frakked!"

"Ever the wordsmith!" he teased his friend.

"You're letting yourself in for a world of heart ache, you know that, right?"

"It's not something I have a choice about, Kara. It just is."

Starbuck shook her head. "I hope she's worth it, Lee."

Apollo smiled confidently. "She is."

**************** 

Laura stared at the Priests body, unable to grasp what had just happened. In that moment, Lee was the only one who could reach out and touch her, the only one she would respond to. She let him lead her away, let him comfort her as she tried not to cry.

They continued their journey in silence; he stayed by her side, watching over her.

When they stopped for respite, she read the scrolls, memorised passages and tried to remember everything Elosha had told her. Tried to hold-on to the belief that this was her path, that she was the chosen leader… but it all seemed so hopeless now; an impossible undertaking.

When the light began to fade, they set-up camp.

Roslin sat apart from the others. The rain came and went and Laura's heart felt heavy. Weighted down with grief. Zarek kept giving her odd looks and Thrace's unrelenting gaze kept falling on her... she wanted to escape their scrutiny, if only for a few minutes. So, without a word to anyone, she stood and slowly ventured further into the forest.

Starbuck caught sight of Roslin disappearing into the woods. She tapped Lee's arm. "Your girlfriend's deserting, Lee – you'd better go after her."

Lee turned to see Roslin's auburn hair glistening through the trees as she moved away from the camp. Immediately, he took off, in pursuit of her.

**************** 

Laura doesn't go far – she's already exhausted from walking all day and the cancer is starting to slow her down – she can feel it now – inside her, eating away at her. She thinks of Elosha and wonders why her life was spared yet again when she was destined to die soon anyway? Hot tears streaked down her face. Nothing made sense anymore and she was tired of the injustice of it all. She wanted to quit, she wanted to scream and pound the forest floor. She wanted to cry till she burst, wanted to leave all of this behind her. But she's the President and a Prophet - she doesn't have the luxury of weakness. She has to pull herself together, she can't afford to lose control now.

Laura heard footsteps behind her and turned to see Captain Apollo.

"Ma'am?" his expression is filled with concern when he sees her tear-stained face.

Laura wiped her cheeks with the back of her hand.

"Are you alright?" he asked with trepidation.

"Just peachy," she mocked, her lip quivering with barely contained sorrow.

"I know that Elosha meant a great deal to you - " Lee began.

"I don't want to talk about it!" she stated firmly.

He moved closer to her. "But Ma'am - "

"Lee!" she warned, her voice rising an octave.

He can't let her fall to pieces, not after all they've been through to get here, so he pressed on. "She's gone, Laura… and we have to carry on, you still have to lead."

Roslin's eyes soften as she looked upon her Captain. "I know. I just…"

"There is no 'just', Ma'am. We're on Kobol because you brought us here. Now you must complete what you came here to do."

Laura squared her shoulders, her body filling with rage. "I have every intention of fulfilling my promise. I'm not falling apart – I'm mourning a friend! Aren't I allowed to grieve? Must everything I do be measured and controlled? There's only so much I can repress, Lee…"

Instinctively, he reached out and stroked her cheek. Their eyes locked and Laura stayed motionless.

"Grieve for her later. Let's get through this, and then grieve for her," he said gently.

Roslin gave him a half smile. "You're always my voice of reason, you know that?"

Lee let his fingertips trace the shape of her neck, then he slid his hand down Laura's arm and took her hand.

"Let's get some sleep," he suggested.

Laura nodded and they headed back to camp, hand-in-hand.

When they reached their tent, Laura crawled into bed. Lee lay beside her and they looked at each other across the distance separating them.

Laura studies Lee. He's so idealistic; sometimes it scares her. He has so much belief in goodness, too much faith in her… and her feelings of gratitude and devotion to him overwhelm her sometimes. Elosha, Billy and Lee had been with her since the very beginning. Billy had turned his back on her and Elosha was dead. Lee was the only person left that she could count on.

"It's just us now," Laura whispered.

"I'll always be here," Apollo promised.

Laura smiled. "I know," she murmured, then closed her eyes, letting sleep overtake her.

Lee watched her until his own eyelids grew too heavy and he fell into slumber.


	3. Chapter 3

Tom Zarek rolled-up his sleeping mat, dawn was breaking and they needed to recommence their journey. He approached Roslin's tent and put his head through the entrance flap. Roslin was curled up to Lee, they lay snugly in each others arms; limbs entwined, lost in sleep. Tom smirked at the sight, then leaned forward to shake Laura awake and found himself staring down the barrel of Apollo's gun.

"Touch her and I'll blow you away," Lee warned.

Instinctively, Zarek held up his hands and backed away from Laura. "Good morning to you too," Tom said sardonically.

Apollo sat up and Laura stirred.

"We've got to get going," Zarek informed Lee.

"We'll be right out," Apollo said and lowered his gun.

Tom nodded and then exited their tent.

Lee turned to a sleepy Roslin and she drew away from him, she looked awkward about having nestled up to him during the night, but it had become habit after spending a week in the cold storage room together.

"Are you ready?" he asks gently.

"As I'll ever be," she replied, steeling herself for what she had to do.

*******************

They packed-up camp as the morning sky filled with colour. Laura stared at the hazes, mesmerised and felt a calmness overtake her - a surety that they were close to the tomb; the hope within her renewed.

They continued their expedition across Kobol's fierce terrain; even though the weather was against them. Every inch of Laura's body was cold and wet from the continuous downpour, the wind cut across her face, sharp and cruel, but she kept on. Her spirit would not give in and when her body started to fail her, started to slow with weariness, Apollo was beside her.

He touched her shoulder. "Are you okay?"

"Yes," she replied labouredly.

Lee took hold of her arm and she allowed him; their hands joined and their fingers entwined, he bore most of her weight as they made their way up the muddy walls of the ravine. Every time Laura felt herself weaken, Apollo squeezed her hand and her energy returned, and they fought on.

Hours passed and the weather worsened.

While Lee was helping others, Zarek moved beside Roslin. "I'm gonna contact the Astral Queen," he yelled over the noise of the rain. "See if they can pick us up till the weather clears."

Suddenly, Lee stampeded his way between them, he glared at Zarek and shouted. "You're not in charge here, Tom. All com traffic goes through me. Try to remember that," and he took the President's arm and pushed onwards. Laura followed his lead because there was no one she trusted more.

When there was a break in the rain, the motley troop stopped and set-up camp. After building their shelter, Laura sat and Lee set about making a camp fire. She watched him with awe; where he got his vigour, she'd never know. Laura unpacked their food supplies, she shared out their day's rations and when he was done with the fire, Lee sat beside her. They ate ravenously and when they were both finished, they lay down, side-by-side, resting their worn out bodies.

Roslin stared at the ceiling of the canopy. She shivered as a draft crept across her body; her hair was still wet and she felt goose bumps rise on her skin.

Lee felt her shiver and sat up, putting a bolster across the gap causing the draft.

"Thanks," Laura said appreciatively.

Apollo lay down again.

"I never liked camping," she stated. "And this expedition has done little to change my opinion!"

Lee grinned and looked at her. "You're not a "Roughing it" type of gal, huh?"

"Give me a five-star hotel over tents, bugs, constant drafts and the rain any day!" Laura mocked, she turned to face him and smiled radiantly, her eyes shone and Lee was tempted to press himself closely to her, to whisper in her ear all the things he wished to say, all the longings she stirred within him. But he dared not.

Lee's eyes darkened and Roslin felt his mood shift. "What's wrong?" she asked.

Apollo couldn't explain this; his constant craving for her. Instead, Lee sat up, he knew better than to lie to her; Roslin always saw through him, so he decided to avoid the topic altogether. "I'd better go and relieve Kara – she's on lookout," he said.

Laura used her elbows to prop herself up. "You need to rest, Captain," she stated.

He was about to stand, when Laura reached out and grasped his arm. This unbalanced Lee, who turned too quickly in her direction; his face was an inch from hers and he lost himself in her eyes. All he wanted to do was to pull her to him and to cover her in kisses, instead he released himself from her grip. "I can't stay here with you, like this… I just can't," he whispered.

Laura felt her body flush with heat and her heart quicken. "Captain Apollo - " she began.

Lee closed his eyes. "Please," he said breathlessly. "Please don't call me that, not unless…" he opened his eyes and she saw his desire; unmasked and unmistakable.

Laura's voice caught in her throat as she mumbled. "Turn your mind to other things."

Lee laughed humourlessly. "I've tried Madame President - I can be in my viper, I can be shooting Cylon's, drinking with friends, locked in a cold storage room, hiking up a frakking ravine in ungodly conditions - but nothing takes the place of you in my thoughts. When I'm with you, everything makes sense, it all fits… Laura, you're all I think of. Push me away as much as you like but that's not going to change how I feel," Lee stated passionately.

Laura smiled tenderly at him as sensations so mixed up and vast overtook her. "I don't want to push you away. You've become a part of me… to deny you is to deny myself," she whispered as she reached out her hand and caressed his cheek. "But it's not as simple as what you and I want," her fingertips traced the shape of his mouth, she was leaning too close to him and suddenly, Laura felt the delicious heat of his lips on hers, felt her back pressing against the ground and the warmth of his body on top of hers, pressed so tightly, she thought they could never be separated again.

Lee's right hand tangled in her hair, while his left strayed down her body, exploring her curves, Laura slipped her arms around Apollo's neck and drew him closer, breathing in his scent, he moaned into her mouth as her hips rose and pressed firmly against his groin.

They don't hear the sound of footsteps approaching.

It wasn't until Helo called out from a distance. "Lee? You here?" that they stopped.

After receiving no reply, Helo headed in another direction.

When they were sure they were alone, Laura and Lee drew apart and sat up. Apollo was breathless with what they had almost done; this was madness; he could have endangered them both. What if it had been a cylon troop instead of Helo? What if it had been Zarek attempting to assassinate her? What if…

Laura leaned into him and rested her forehead against his shoulder; her skin was still tingling from his touch, her lips still ablaze from his kiss.

"It's probably best that we didn't…" Lee said. "Not here."

Laura nodded. "When we return to the fleet, then we'll figure out what this thing is between us."

He looked into her eyes and cupped her face, his thumbs stroked her cheeks and then he kissed her lips gently. "I know what it is," Lee said softly and trailed feather-light kisses down her neck; he felt her tremble, felt her fingers dig into his back. "I'll try to be patient, Laura," he murmured in her ear, then pulled away.

She felt bereft as soon as he put distance between them. Her eyes begged him to stay, but Lee stood and ran to catch-up with Helo, before the temptation to stay and make love to Laura became too great.

Laura watched him go and folded her arms across her chest to preserve the warmth of him; when he was gone from view, she closed her eyes and whispered his name as a prayer of thanks.

************

The arrival of Adama and his troop had been unexpected, and to Lee, a source of joy and relief. His father was alive and well, and it seemed, had forgiven him. But as Lee watched his father and Roslin from a distance, he felt uneasy about not being included. He was used to having private conferences with Laura, having her ask his opinion, valuing his perspective. Now his father was back in command and Lee was afraid of becoming redundant to the President.

Apollo packed-up the cooking utilities roughly.

"Hey – easy there flyboy!" Kara warned, wondering what was bugging him this time.

"Sorry," Lee mumbled.

Starbuck caught him looking in Roslin and Adama's direction. She rolled her eyes – figures it would have something to do with Roslin. That woman certainly had a way of making both the Adama men crazy!

"Having problems with your girlfriend, Romeo?" she teased.

Lee scowled at her. "She's not my girlfriend, so stop calling her that."

"Make me," Thrace challenged.

Lee's eyes narrowed. "Grow-up, Kara."

"You're the one who needs to grow-up, Lee. Every time anyone gets within an inch of Roslin – you're all over them!"

"That's not true!" Lee growled.

"Yes it is," Kara proclaimed. "Zarek tried to talk to her and you charged in, barking orders and monopolizing her. Helo offered her a sausage at lunch and you blew a gasket! Now you're sending death-ray glares toward the old man for talking to her in private… if you really love her, loosen the reins - you're acting like she belongs to you. She won't stand for this possessive-jealousy thing you've got going on when we get back to the fleet. So stop it, before she comes to her senses and kicks you out on your ass!"

Lee was about to argue when he realised that Kara was right; this was a precedent. He opened his mouth and looked at Starbuck, unsure what to say.

"Don't mention it," she said, clapped him on the back and headed off to join the others.

******************

When they arrived back among the fleet, the Commander didn't argue when Lee insisted on escorting Roslin to _Colonial One_ , Adama could see that there was something unresolved between the pair and experience had taught him not to come between them – they always found their way to each other anyhow.

Laura, Billy and Lee made the flight to _Colonial One_ in relative silence, once they were aboard, Lee knew he had to return to _Galactica_ but he couldn't bring himself to leave, couldn't bring himself to be parted from her.

Billy retired to his rack, leaving them alone. Laura entered her private room and Lee followed her.

Laura looked about her quarters. "It's strange," she told him. "But I actually missed this place - even the lumpy sofa and the broken lampshade!"

Lee smiled. "We've been gone for a long time."

She nodded. "I guess this really is home!"

Laura shrugged out of her jacket and placed it across a chair. She stretched her arms and arched her back to release the tension in her muscles, her long auburn hair shimmered with the movement and Lee is captivated; she's more beautiful than any view, than any wonder of the colonies.

"I love you," he whispered.

Laura's arms dropped to her side and she turned her gaze on him, her eyes large and beguiled. "We need to talk," she said solemnly. "Before this thing consumes us both."

Apollo shook his head. "It's beyond that now," he declared and took a step towards her. "I need you to say it," he implored.

Laura's pulse was erratic as she replied. "I love you," her voice was weak as she surrendered to the intensity of her desire for him.

"How much?" Lee asked, his eyes burning into hers.

Laura was startled. "What?"

He moved closer, almost inside her skin, filling all her senses. "How much do you love me, Laura?"

"When my time comes, I want to die in your arms," she murmured.

Lee's eyes filled with tears and when she reached for him, he kissed her hard. Her arms embraced him so tightly; all breath was gone from him. He covered her in kisses and they moved towards her bed, shedding the clothing that kept them separate from each other. Now he was finally free to show Laura all she meant to him.


End file.
